Poem: i fear

I fear not knowing, I fear not trying,

I fear not growing, I fear not flying,

I fear staying still, I fear being alone,

I fear being attached all day to my phone.

I fear being judged, what others may think,

I fear not being able to afford holidays, or even the kitchen sink.

I fear feeling lost forever, I fear never growing up,

I fear being an adult, I fear feeling stuck.

I fear I won’t ever be the person I’m supposed to be,

Do the things I’m meant to do, to see what I’m supposed to be.

I fear I won’t ever find someone, who really really gets me,

Someone I can be myself with, and share my thoughts and feelings.

I fear I’m a bad person, that I’m somehow not worthy,

Of all the things I want and wish, of giving up on life too early.

I fear being a burden, my life coming to nothing,

So much potential yet nothing to show for, I fear not doing something.

I fear I’m just faking it, with no idea what I’m doing,

Watching others around me moving forward, laughing and smiling and joking,

Meanwhile, I? I really don’t know what I’m doing.

I fear not becoming who I’m meant to be,

And I fear that that will happen…

I fear the exposure that comes with recognition,

I fear achieving, I fear wasting, I fear not living, not doing

What I’m supposed to do.

Whatever the hell that is.

– – – – –

Written by,

Jas

aka: the awkward brown guy

✏ Wednesday, 21st March 2018 

👀 Read more of my poetry here.

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