I fear not knowing, I fear not trying,
I fear not growing, I fear not flying,
I fear staying still, I fear being alone,
I fear being attached all day to my phone.
I fear being judged, what others may think,
I fear not being able to afford holidays, or even the kitchen sink.
I fear feeling lost forever, I fear never growing up,
I fear being an adult, I fear feeling stuck.
I fear I won’t ever be the person I’m supposed to be,
Do the things I’m meant to do, to see what I’m supposed to be.
I fear I won’t ever find someone, who really really gets me,
Someone I can be myself with, and share my thoughts and feelings.
I fear I’m a bad person, that I’m somehow not worthy,
Of all the things I want and wish, of giving up on life too early.
I fear being a burden, my life coming to nothing,
So much potential yet nothing to show for, I fear not doing something.
I fear I’m just faking it, with no idea what I’m doing,
Watching others around me moving forward, laughing and smiling and joking,
Meanwhile, I? I really don’t know what I’m doing.
I fear not becoming who I’m meant to be,
And I fear that that will happen…
I fear the exposure that comes with recognition,
I fear achieving, I fear wasting, I fear not living, not doing
What I’m supposed to do.
Whatever the hell that is.
– – – – –
✏ Wednesday, 21st March 2018
👀 Read more of my poetry here.