Going to sleep in one mood, waking up in another

I recently had a fun evening with my parents. I got home, blogged about it, and I felt really good. As often happens when I interact with others, especially with those I like and feel comfortable/safe with, I felt energetic and lifted. For me, interacting is all about the quality (a theme my therapist nicely described/identified); don’t get me wrong, interactions with my parents don’t always feel so delightful(!), but cinema-evening sure was a good one. As a result, I felt energetic and uplifted. And in the mood for interacting.

In the moment, I considered something I hadn’t considered in a while. Hmm, I wonder if Friend P is at the gym and working out tomorrow… (he happens to work at the gym, too). Tomorrow morning, I’ll message him and find out. I generally prefer to work out alone, but at that moment, I felt in the mood to hang out with Friend P. I think he’d gotten used to my being fairly reserved and in my own space – and admittedly, I’ve even sometimes gone to the gym a little later in the day, when I know his shift has finished. My social anxiety at work methinks, and the whole lack of self-esteem/confidence around my current ‘work situation’ (or lack thereof). Only a few months back, I’d told him about my plans to work in sport – and I now felt really foolish and embarrassed and a failure for having changed direction, AGAIN. Anyhow, I went to bed feeling good at the potential prospect of a workout buddy tomorrow.

A few hours later, I woke up. And guess what, I was not feeling the idea of working out with Friend P, or anyone at all. What happened?! This wouldn’t be the first time. I’d previously arranged calls for the next day, only to then get busy/wrapped up in my own stuff, and/or just not feeling in the mood to talk.

When I was working in sales, I used to be a mixture of energised/exhausted at the end of each day; long days of interaction, where I’d been “warmed up” to such an extent that I wasn’t feeling socially anxious. Yet, EVERY day without fail, I’d wake up and go into work, and then feel those nerves when it came to picking up the phone or attending my first meeting. Every single time.

My theory is that my nerves/social anxiety are most prevalent first thing in the morning, early on in the day. Especially when I spend a whole morning on my own, as is not uncommon these days. (That said – at time of publishing – I’ve gotten myself to the gym in the morning, and this tends to be a useful start to the day). I progress through the day, and so long as I get myself out of the house – and especially if I interact in some way, the nerves slowly wear away. The longer I leave it without socialising, the more heightened my nerves and social anxiety become, and the more difficult it then becomes to break out of the cycle and talk / do things with others.

It just still amazed me at how I can be in such a different mood one moment, and then in a completely different mood the next. (This happened just this week, when I went speed-dating on Tuesday night. I swear the evening’s socialising has generated momentum for the rest of the week).

One thing did come out of my post-evening good mood, though. I messaged Girl J and told her that I have a free pass to visit Kew Gardens, if she ever wanted to come along – she’d previously mentioned she’d been there before, but not in a while.

Her response?
“Aww, thaaanks!” followed by “I’m gonna take you up on that offer 🙊🙊😀😀😀”.


Update: Since the above, I also told Girl J that I was going speed-dating, as we’d discussed it before and she’s actually been to the speed-dating event I went to a few times. She expressed surprise (and possible disappointment?) that I was now open to other girls, outside of our religion. Interesting.

✏ Written: Friday, 2nd March 2018 @ 10.03am

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What about you? 🤷🏽‍♂️
Does your mood fluctuate between the morning and evening? Or in general? I fluctuate between social anxiety and being sociable, it’s *so strange*… 💙

10 thoughts on “Going to sleep in one mood, waking up in another

  1. Good for you for changing up your routine! I wish I could get my booty to the gym! It is weird how we can change moods, and I really don’t have an insight there, but you are doing a great job mitigating those mood changes successfully. And speed dating sounds interesting and like something good for you! Maybe she really likes you? But at the same time, you are young and so keeping things open is good. Being the same religion doesn’t always bring harmony as no two people believe the exact same things within their religion, but it does help to have the common bond…in most cases, though not all. Not much help am I?! I’m just happy you are doing so well!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thank you 🙂 The gym has been really useful for me over the last few years. I find that it’s easier once I’m in a routine again. I just went through a phase when it was particularly difficult, due to something that happened there (post to come) and my social anxiety being high. As speed-dating was a confidence-booster for sure. Again, just getting out of my head is a good thing. And I hear you – someone from the same background *does* have it’s advantages, but it’s not the be-all and end-all and it’s nice to have the choice! Have a great weekend ✨


  2. I find the same happens to me. The night before, I have a plan for tomorrow and I feel very much up to it and invested in doing it when the time comes. Then I wake up and my mood is completely off-kilter and my motivation is gone for some reason. As ridiculous as it sounds, sometimes the weather can seriously invigorate me into action or bring me down so hard I think to myself, “Why should I go out today??” Winters are very painful for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have times where I feel great and make plans only to have my mood change and I dread going out. I am lucky that my friends understand that this may happen and never get annoyed if I suddenly change our plans. We always end up getting together at some point.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mmm, interesting:) maybe bcz u r young lol I had such problems at 25-30. But my mood is ok now, still I think there’s nothing wrong if u change your mind. I find fun in it 🙂 I change my mind a lot during the week/or day 😂

    Liked by 2 people

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