A rare evening with my parents

I wrote recently about the relationship I have with my parents. This evening, the 3 of us had a rare night out together.

With my brother being away, and the rave reviews I’d seen for Lady Bird – as well as the film looking particularly introvert-/infp-friendly, I booked it. It’s not often that there’s a film we’re all interested in paying to see; my mum is particularly fussy when it comes to films.

evening w parents
credit: Suanpa

We also took the opportunity to try out one of the Everyman cinemas for the first time. I’d been meaning to check it out, and thought my Everyman cinema would be taken on a date night; they have sofas instead of seats (with some single armchairs, too – to accommodate for groups of three, or other ‘odd’ numbers), and you can also order food and drink to eat during the film. Alas, this didn’t happen, but it’d make a good future date spot for sure. Along with tapas. You know, tucking in and sharing food, brushing hands, being polite about who gets the last tortilla chip, and so forth…

At £15 a ticket, it’s not cheap but not much more than a ticket for a film at my local cinema. I really enjoyed the film, and the restaurant meal we had afterwards. [At time of publishing, I’ve seen reflected and realised that, as much as I enjoyed it, there wasn’t much of a ‘story’ as such. I just enjoyed the individuality of Lady Bird, the main character, and Saiorse Ronan’s performance which was, as always, marvellous). I feel other empaths/introverts/creatives might like it, even though the mixed reviews I’ve read on Reddit, and the kinda nothingness of a storyline.

Despite venturing out on a cold, snowy night (seriously, the roads and streets were almost completely deserted), I had a really nice night.

Perhaps most of all, I enjoyed the quality time spent with my parents. It’s amazing how, despite living together, we rarely spend quality time together like this. Dad is often doing his own thing, playing golf or sat in the sitting room on his own when he’s not at work.

My parents are in their 50s, and before long will be in their 60s. Without meaning to sound morbid, I ought to really make the most of our time together. Dad has been making much more of an effort with me/the family recently (having even just standard chat with Dad still feels a little awkward though – for a future post), so I think we need to get some more family ‘together time’ in the diary. Whether it’s a movie night indoors (so easy! – I swear we are too spoilt in our house with a selection of different TVs and programmes that we individually like to watch), or going out for a meal together. Or just something completely different.

I’m also at the stage where it’s feeling a little more like an adult-adult relationship with my parents, though there’s a long way to go and I don’t think this will ever completely be the case! Just as I’m hoping to be more true to myself, I’d like to be more open and honest with my family, and hopefully we’ll all feel happier and closer as a result.

At the end of they day they are my parents, and they’ve certainly done their fair share for me. They can each be annoying as hell sometimes for sure, but they’ve been very supportive over the last couple of years, and actually on the whole in the grand scheme of things (it doesn’t always feel like this) – letting me do my own thing and be my own person. Boy, there have been some ups and downs but at least I’ve had the opportunity to experiment (e.g. university- and career-wise) and not live a life of resentment.

Here’s to more treasured family evenings in the awkward brown household.

✏ Written: Friday, 2nd March 2018 @ 0.13am

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What about you? 🤷🏽‍♂️
Do you still do things like this with your folks? What’s the dynamic like with your family? I’d love to hear what it’s like for you 💙

14 thoughts on “A rare evening with my parents

  1. Reading your post, I’m almost envious of how articulate you are in being able to write a post about the simple pleasures of spending time with your parents and having a nice time with no drama or ill feelings under the surface. I can’t say my parents and I do much spending time together. For the most part, I do believe it’s due to differing interests and what each of us would rather do with our spare time, in addition to what often feels like there may be one person who might be agreeing to the activity out of obligation rather than actual interest in doing so and so. I understand that no one’s family is perfect and every family has its own set of problems.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for reading + commenting, Nat. Ah, Dad *always* does his own thing. I live at home, which is why I see them fairly often! Actual quality time could still be better. We have a new sofa arriving tomorrow, so hopefully this will be an excuse for more movie-nights. Every family has it’s problems *for sure*, even if it doesn’t look like it on the outside.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I (still) live at home too so I can relate to seeing my parents frequently. It can get uncomfortable at times. I think it has partially to my own personal desire/wish to “adult” or do things without what it seems my parents harping at me every time. I do think they mean well and it’s not like they’re so nosy to the point they want to account for where I am and what I am doing at all hours of the day. Still… I would like more privacy lol.

        Movie night sounds great. Do you find it difficult for you and your parents to settle on a movie all of you want to watch?

        It took me a very long time to realize no family is perfect… Growing up, I saw these two cousins of mine who seemed to have the best lives ever with a close knit family. I was shocked at another time when it was some days after I had spent time with them when they came to visit, and then I heard from my dad that one of my cousins had gotten into such a heated feud with her father that she had expressed regret about even coming home in the first place. 😟

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I can totally relate – both of them still see me as still a child, and it has made me complacent and probably held me back a little (not just their fault, mine too). They mean well, but they got married in their early-mid twenties and then in late twenties lived together. I’m now 28 and living with them, so without independence. However, I then also feel guilty that I’m such a burden on them, as I don’t pay rent as such (I contribute to shopping, etc) and then feel bad and ungrateful for even feeling like this!

        I have a couple of cousins who seem to have a better relationship with their fathers, so I’m a bit envious of that. At the end of the day, though, everyone has their problems, and I try to lean in to what I *do* have, rather than what’s missing. Not always easy!

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    1. I don’t think it’ll ever be like that for me either, it’s got a little bit better in the last couple of years, but only a little.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am glad you are getting the chance to spend more time with your parents. It sounds lovely. My family dynamic isn’t great and the last time we were altogether was over ten years ago. I doubt there will ever be another, but that’s okay. It’s lovely to see when there is closeness between families. I have recently reconnected with my siblings in the form of a group chat, so that is something. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ah, thanks Sara 🙂 It seems to be more common for Indian/Asian families to live together… this doesn’t always mean they’re “closer”, however, and trust me we’re a long way from perfect! My relationship with my dad hasn’t been an easy one. We have a family group chat, too, I think every little helps 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey, thank you for the visit to my blog! I recently found your blog and found your writing beautifully simple and introspective! Please count me in as a regular reader from now on. –from a brown girl and fellow INFP 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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