I got ghosted after a job offer

[Edit] Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Ghosting. It’s a horrible word to describe an act that has always existed, but has become all-the-more common in this age of Whatsapp, social media and dating apps. I’ve been on the end of it, and also done it – playing both ghoster and ghostee.

Gosh, it’s a horrible word.

A week ago today (actually, 2 weeks ago at the time of publishing), I was on the end of the ultimate ghosting. After taking some time off, I’ve recently started to actively look for jobs in a new field(s) – writing. I’ve been looking at journalist positions as well as content/copywriting positions. Rather than lean into the anxiety of starting a new job and working for someone again (the last time I worked for someone else – in sales – was nearly 3 years ago, and by the end I really wasn’t happy), I’m trying to embrace the opportunity for a new challenge and somewhat through caution to the wind – looking at businesses/roles that feel right, ideally doing something I give a damn about. #typicalINFP

After 5 years of sales experience, this is a completely new avenue for me, so I appreciate that I’m going to have to earn my stripes, and enter at the junior end of the market. As someone who was earning fairly decent money what I was doing before, applying for junior positions – and even internships – has been a humbling experience.

One of these positions was a part-time role with an animal welfare organisation, as a ‘media & communications intern’.

Perfect, I thought. this is something that I feel is important and a worthy cause. It’s a small team, and I’ll be working closely with the Media & Comms Manager. I should have broad exposure and the chance to learn a lot… exactly what I’m after. Even though I’d only be paid .a pretty small amount, pretty much just covering my travel expenses, that was okay. It’d be a chance to dip my toe back into the working world, learn and gain experience, and in a capacity as a volunteer – so with less pressure than an official employee on the payroll.

I met the Media & Comms Manager that I’d be working with at a co-working space with a cool vibe. We got on well. She asked the usual stuff, about me and my career so far, and why I liked the look of this particular position. I was honest about my career story (why I’d left sales, etc.), and what I now wanted, and we had a useful back-and-forth conversation about what was needed, and how I could help / the ideas I had.

I was offered the role there and then. Great, I thought. It was somewhat a surprise to be offered right there, but not so much as I knew this was a voluntary position and I had a fairly reasonable portfolio of articles, plus ideas I had about how to engage on social media without potential donors. She encouraged me to think about it over the weekend, and let her know by Monday. She even mentioned getting me in for training next week if I accepted. And the fact that, in a couple of weeks, they were moving to a different office, and confirming that that was okay.

Pretty confident I would accept, I went away and reflected. I texted her on the Saturday – thinking it’d be nice to show I was eager, and also not keep her “hanging” over the whole weekend; I also wished her a good weekend, and that I wasn’t expecting a response till Monday as I’m sure she had better things to do on a Saturday, and so forth. I sent her the same message on email and text, in fact (again, figuring that it was nice for her to see the message in some capacity, so she knew one way or another).

Monday came around and… nothing. Close to noon on Tuesday, I sent her a follow-up email to make sure she had received my last one. Nothing. I added the number that I had texted to my iPhone phonebook – there she was, on Whatsapp, looking all bohemian and carefree in the pic.

WTF?!

I mean, this was a little old. I was confused, and a little p*ssed off too.

How can you go from talking about my joining one minute and then, in the space of a couple of days, seemingly do a U-turn? What’s happened here?

I actually wasn’t as gutted as I might’ve been, thought. Returning to work for someone for the first time in nearly 3 years (Masters, doing my ‘own thing’, then taking time out), there was some going-back-to-work anxiety as I mentioned earlier, especially as it would be doing something new where I don’t feel super-confident in my abilities. #fakingit #impostersyndrome

Also, I think I’ve become more introverted as a result of being in my own space more – ironic as, in my sales days, I was in an open-plan office and talking to/meeting clients all day long. It brought out the social side of me, but it was exhausting.

Probably the worst thing is – she seemed really nice! I know I had only know her for an hour, but *still*. I like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character. #IThoughtWeWerePals

Either way, my feeling is that what has happened here is probably a blessing in disguise. They may well have messed me around when I started, and this could have been stressful.

By Wednesday that week, I had decided that, even if I did hear from them, it was gonna be a “thanks, but no thanks” from me. It just wouldn’t feel right. I’m a believer in things happening for a reason, and the universe was doing me a favour here.

It’s not the most pleasant thing to be ghosted after a job offer – or at all, for that matter. But if it potentially saves me from future sh*t that I don’t need, I’ll take a ghosting any day.

✏️ Written: Friday, 23rd February 2018 @ 0.00am

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What about you? 👻
Have you been ghosted, online or in-person? Have you been a ghoster? (be honest!) I’d love to hear your ghost-related experiences – whether shocking, hilarious, or frightful.

23 thoughts on “I got ghosted after a job offer

  1. Great post! I have also been a victim of ghosting in the past and it is incredibly annoying! They expect you to attend an interview and act in a professional manner but the way you get treated is anything but that! Particularly when they give you the hope of accepting a job and then tear it down again by not responding! How unprofessional and annoying!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know! Not getting feedback for an application is – unfortunately – expected; no feedback after an interview is one thing, and nothing and after an offer is a whole ‘nother level 👎🏽

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lol ironically enough something super similar happened to me. I wasn’t ghosted entirely but partially. I had worked this job over the summer that had told me they wanted me to start full time at the end of the summer. They even gave me a time frame, an invite to their annual conference, and extra hours for the month prior…then one day I was locked out of my email and I texted my supervisor, nothing, emailed him and the CEO (small company), nothing, then hours later I get a call from the head of marketing that they hired someone behind my back and that I didn’t need to come in anymore. Like the end, end of story, never heard from my supervisor even with a “nice working with you for 3 months” email. They sort of just said BYE and then ghosted me all together. It’s awful and just know that there are better jobs out there who cab conduct themselves more professionally!

    Power to the introverts, we will figure this weird life thing out somehow!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg, that’s worse than mine! That’s so terrible. At least you got to put down that 3 months of experience, hopefully it was of some value & not a waste of time. You’re too good for them! 💪🏽

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      1. It was sort of a waste of time but it was a life lesson to trust my gut more often lol and thank you! We are both too good for those lame unprofessional business people👊💪

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes! As someone who can be in my head a lot, I’m trying to relax and tune into my intuition more. Meditation/yoga are seeming to help. 👌🏽

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      3. I’ve only started yoga in the last few months – it’s like an active form of meditation, it’s great ✨

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      4. In terms of what I take, I take ashtanga, vinyasa, hatha, restorative, yin…essentially I take most of the core types! But in terms of what I enjoy teaching, I’m leaning towards a gentle vinyasa or a slow flow vinyasa. I haven’t started teaching classes yet because of dicey work situations but I plan to soon!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hmm, I know some of those words 🤓 I reckon you should give it a try if/when you can, something tells me you’d be great 👌🏽

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      6. Imposter syndrome is real. Maybe try with a couple/small group of close friends, who you feel safe & comfortable with. And see how that feels & take it from there.

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  3. You know I’ve been the recipient of ghosting… and I’m ashamed to say I’ve also ghosted in that past. I no longer do it because I think it’s dishonest and I’m turning over a new leaf to be completely transparent. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m with you there…. I recently had my first job interview since leaving sales and branching out into a new career (also going for journo and copywriting positions). We had a good hour of back and forth, he complimented the questions I asked and talked about how he could see me fitting into the team. In my eyes these are all signs of a good interview. He gave me specific date that he would follow up by. That date has been and gone and about a month has passed since then and I haven’t heard so much as a peep.

    I really don’t get it. It’s not the rejection – I’ve never worked in this industry before, I don’t assume I’m going to waltz into a job after my first interview and also, I can handle rejection – I worked in sales for 5 years. But ghosting is just so rude. And lazy. As you mentioned, there must be a social media aspect to it, everything is very disposable and we have so many options. But after an interview? After offering a job? What happened to professional courtesy? You’re right to look on the bright side, you probably dodged a bullet there but I definitely sympathize, it’s not a great feeling.

    Good luck with the rest of your search – may this be the little bump in the road which propels you on to bigger and better things 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, thanks for reading and for sharing your similar experience. Wow, it looks like we have a lot in common! And precisely – it’s just the common courtesy. Not hearing back after an interview is one thing, but this… the mind boggles. Are you veering more towards journalism or content/marketing in your search? I’m tending to look more at the latter, but just trying to go with my gut when applying/sending emails.

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